“What would be the first thing you’d ask me if we sat down for coffee together?!”
I asked this question on Insta recently because I was so curious to see what topics people associate with me & I thought this would be a super fun way to get some answers on this burning question I had.
I answered a lot of them – most of which were about what I expected, but one really stuck out & I felt like it needed more than just a 15 second Instagram story dedicated to it.
Ready for the question? It’s a good one. A deep thinker. Sort of the foundation of everything I try to talk about.
“How do you have the courage to chase your dreams?”
Do you ever get asked something and you hadn’t even thought of this as a question someone would have, because to you it is so deeply innate?
If you’ve ever had a 3 year old in your life, you know all about the word WHY and how you start to dig deep into things that you actually hadn’t considered at all…. Like, I don’t know, WHY do we spell things with silent letters?!
Well this question struck me as one of those “hm, I didn’t even realize I was doing that” sort of things.
So how do I have the courage to chase my dreams?
Well let me start of by saying, I haven’t always, so if that’s where you’re at now, I can assure you there is hope.
I used to focus my entire existence on trying to appear “perfect.”
I wanted to be the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, the perfect rider, the perfect sister, the perfect employee, the perfect human woman.
I actually cringe a little when I recall a very specific incident when one of Bobby’s friends asked me what I do… I said, “oh, I’m Bobby’s wife.” He, of course, meant what do I do for work. But my brain wanted to go straight to “What can I say in this moment so this friend thinks I am the perfect wife to Bobby?”
This was just one incident that is deeply burned into my memory of me attempting to do the impossible – be perfect.
If this resonates with you, let me stop you in your tracks and scream, “PERFECTION DOESN’T EXIST”
I was literally letting my one & only, precious life slip by me because I was so concerned with what everyone else may or may not thing about me.
I didn’t want to take any risks that might make me stumble and appear like I have flaws.
I didn’t even consider having real dreams or goals, because my entire consciousness was zoned in on one thing: look perfect to the person that is in front of you right now & don’t let them know you have any flaws. Say the exact right thing to this individual so as they walk away they think, “oh wow, she’s perfect.”
WOW… even just putting that out into the universe makes me shutter & laugh all at the same time.
Now that I’ve explained where I was, let me tell you where I am at now:
IDGAF what another human thinks of me. AKA, I am living for ME.
Not in a rude, inconsiderate, “I’m a big ol’ bully” kind of way... I’m talking about the kind of way where if you trip in a public place and fall on the floor you get up, dust yourself off, laugh a little, and continue on without a thought of what the people who saw thought about it. The kind of way that I say & do what feels right to ME without a second thought of whether or not someone else thinks more or less of me because of it.
My North Star is my own sense of peace. Without that, I have nothing. Without that, I cannot show up and serve this world in the ways I know God/the universe/spirit/whatever you wanna call it sent me here to do.
The courage to chase my dreams? How did I find that?
By realizing that I have one shot here on Earth. By realizing the odds of me becoming a human being are 400 trillion to one… it’s basically insane that anybody exists at all when you realize all the things that had to come together for YOU to be born. By realizing that living my life for what I think someone else may or may not think of me is actual insanity…
By realizing I have a mission here on this Earth and it is not in the slightest way to appear perfect while deeply hurting inside.
I have the courage to chase my dreams because my dreams are far bigger than me. My dreams feel more like a mission that I was sent here to accomplish; a task given to me by the divine. I feel like I was handed a very unique set of circumstances, life events, & genetic traits that allow me to reach people in a way that nobody else can. I don’t think this is by accident & I don’t take any credit for this, these are blessings that I am grateful to have.
How did I go from the perfectionist who was living 6,030,034,093 versions of herself to try and please everyone, to the girl who is on a relentless mission without a thought of who’s watching?
By committing to myself that I would reach my highest potential while I still have a heartbeat; not once, but every single day.
I wake up every day knowing that there is a bigger purpose I am moving towards. I try every day to get a little closer to the version of myself that can serve the way she needs to.
Do you know the self-discipline and mental fortitude it takes to make yourself wake up every day and go lift weights, for years, not just 21 days?
Do you know the self-love it takes to say “whoops, that wasn’t the right answer, but now I know better for next time,” when you f%&! up really badly?
Do you know the audacity it takes to stand up in front of a crowd and say, “I have a really big purpose here and I know I can accomplish it”?
You can know all of these things. You can open yourself up to having a really, big purpose here on Earth & accepting the responsibility that comes along with that.
You can start right this very second by showing up & believing in YOU.
Nobody else can until you start.
Want to have the courage to chase your dreams?
You are a bada$$ and you need to start acting like one.
Fill your mind with every personal development book you can find, listen to every podcast on how you can grow as an individual, surround yourself with people who lift you up & talk about their dreams & encourage you to go after yours, wake up every day and lift some damn weights, commit to becoming the healthiest version of yourself.
Now do these things every. single. day.
Courage is something that you have to practice, not something that you do once & then you’ve succeeded.
Courage takes showing up on the days you don’t feel like it because you’ve already committed to yourself, and you don’t break promises to yourself – they’re sacred.
The courage to chase your dreams comes from every small decision you’re making in your every day life.
When you have to choose between staying quiet or sticking up for what’s right, you are making a vote for the kind of person you are.
When you have to choose between eating Taco Bell for lunch or bringing rice and beans from home, you are making a vote for the kind of person you are.
When you choose to get to the gym & crush your workout instead of sitting on the couch all day, you are making a vote for the kind of person you are.
Stop thinking of courage as this big, one-time commitment and realize it’s in the next decision you’re about to make.
Are you going to choose to move forward in the direction of your dreams?
Or will you spend your one and only life on this planet living for what you believe someone else thinks about you?